You don’t need a card or flowers to know that your pet loves you. That feeling is there any time they gaze into your eyes, or weave through your legs, or lay an understanding paw on your arm. And don’t let anyone try and tell you otherwise – research into both cats and dogs confirms that our pets form deep relationships with us.
Cats have a secure attachment style that’s been likened to the emotional bond between human parents and their children. When this happens, they experience increased levels of oxytocin – the bonding hormone – and feel safe, confident and comforted.
Dogs produce the same bonding hormone when they’re enjoying a long, deep stare into their Pet Loyalist’s eyes. This is unusual in some ways, as dog-to-dog gazing would be confrontational. Other ways that dogs show humans affection such as leaning or sitting against us, or sharing toys, are behaviors that don’t happen in wolves in the wild.
It’s a reminder that our relationship between us and our pets is unique. Of course, pets themselves are also unique. Some cats are determined face-rubbers, while others are long, slow blinkers. You might have a bed hog dog, or one that prefers to have a single foot resting on you at all times.
Whichever kind of Valentine your pet is, here’s a quick guide to their love language.
For the Cat Loyalists
The face-kissers
This is truly one of the highest honors a cat can bestow upon their human.
Generally speaking, cats are more reserved and save this kind of up-close affection for their most trusted people. Gentle licking of the face and hands is the cat version of a kiss, however there’s also resting close to your face, rubbing their cheeks against you and doing nose-to-nose touching.
It’s worth knowing that cats are a little more dignified with their licking as well – while this is a key way a dog shows affection, for the cats of the world it’s more deliberate, and more about mutual grooming.
The cuddlers
Is there anything more comforting than a cat curling up in your lap, or tucking themselves into the crook of your legs? If your pet is doing this, it’s a powerful signal that they feel safe, protected, and emotionally secure around you. That’s because cats are both predators and prey, which makes nap time a potentially vulnerable state.
This cuddly, close-up contact helps regulate your pet’s nervous system – a bit like how kittens will sleep snuggled up with each other or their mother. In cat-to-cat relationships, sleeping together is reserved for the best of friends, so if your cat is curling up around you, you’re now part of their inner circle.
The leg-twiners
After a long day at work, what’s better than coming home to see your cat running up to you and weaving through your legs. It’s their way of marking you as safe and ‘theirs’ by depositing pheromones on you.
This behavior is actually a core part of cat communication, and a significant way they use to bond socially.
The boppers
Scent is a critical part of how your cat interprets the world. They have scent glands on their cheeks, chin and forehead, and they use those to designate things as belonging to them. That might sound possessive, but it’s just how they mark out what’s safe, familiar and reinforcing.
So when your pet is giving you a loving head bop, they’re actually mixing their scent with yours and confirming friendship.
The tail-puffers
Ever noticed your cat’s tail fluffing up when you pet them? This is a sign of alertness and excitement – and it happens when the sympathetic nervous system causes tiny muscles at the base of the hair shaft to contract and produce a bigger, puffier tail.
Like a lot of animal body language, context is important. It could mean they’re really loving the affection, but it could also be high arousal (say, when they’ve spotted a bird outside or have their eye on something they want to stalk).
The blinkers
Not all cats are outwardly affectionate, and that’s ok. If you’ve got more of an aloof pet, there are still signals that convey their fondness towards you.
You might notice your cat doing some long, slow, lazy blinks in your direction – that’s their way of conveying trust and letting you know they’re not a threat. Sending them a slow blink back is a great way to return that affection and express love in a way your pet can understand.
The deep sleepers
As we’ve already said, sleep is a vulnerable time for our pets.
If your cat is totally happy to curl up and drift into a deep snooze in your presence, that’s a sign of real love and the kind of relationship that helps them feel safe.
For the Dog Loyalists
The lickers
We’ll start with the most obvious doggie expression of love: licks.
This comes from early social behavior, when pups are soliciting food, signaling appeasement or building social bonds. Licks accompanied by relaxed body language are one of the biggest displays of affection – whether it’s frenzied face kisses when saying hi or gentle licking as a sign of comfort. Oh, and don’t forget ‘cobbing’: the nibbles dogs give as another way of showing love.
The stalkers
We’ve all met them: the dogs that can’t bear to be away from you, even for a second, even if you’re trying to take a shower.
Dogs evolved from social, group-living ancestors, so it feels natural for them to stay close to key members of that group as a way of sharing information, bonding and feeling safe. Their Loyalist is their safe space and their number one emotional attachment, which means they feel calmer when you’re around. Knowing that, you can forgive them for trailing you round the house…..
And by the way, if your dog loves to gaze at you, that’s another expression of affection – eye contact between pet and human causes feel-good bonding hormones to be released.
The constant connectors
You might think they’re just stealing some warmth from you, but if your dog insists on having at least one part of their body touching yours at all times, they’re actually seeking connection and reassurance (the warmth is just a nice extra).
In the wild, this contact supports group dynamics, communicates bonding and emotional security and increases their feeling of safety during rest. If it’s paired with a deep (and probably quite dramatic-sounding) sigh, that’s another sign of emotional release, and a way of expressing how relaxed they feel with you.
The waggers
A dog’s tail says a lot of different things, and learning to decode when your dog is saying ‘I’m very excited about this squirrel’ and when they’re saying ‘I just really love you right now’ is a learning process.
Depending on the rest of the body language context, that excited, back-and-forth wag is often a sign your pet is having some big feelings, and can be the prelude to kisses and joyful reunions.
The roachers
Be honest, how many photos do you have of your dog lying on their back, all four paws in the air? This is a major sign of love, because it’s a vulnerable body position that shows they feel completely safe with you, their trusted human.
In fact, any body postures that leave your pet more open – such as turning their back to you – are signs of deep security.
The gifters
Some dogs’ love language is all about bringing you presents. We can’t promise it won’t be a pair of old socks, or something they’ve just fished out from behind the couch, but if they love to find and present you with objects, that’s another way of showing affection.
For dogs, this is sharing behavior and comfort-seeking, as well as a way of initiating interaction.
Your pet might do all of these things, or maybe just one. Once you know what to look for, however, you’ll probably notice more and more subtle behavioral signals, and ways your pet displays their devotion. And the best bit? You don’t need to wait until Valentine’s Day – you can rely on that love all-year-round.
We’re proud to say that all of WellJoy’s content is fact-checked and verified by a Pet Loyalist team, including a veterinarian trained in companion animal nutrition and a PhD board-certified companion animal nutritionist.